You’re So Smart

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Intelligence is not a fixed, unchangeable quality. It can grow with effort. Consequently, praise for being smart can undermine a child’s motivation and performance. Instead, praise should focus on the effort a child has made, such as facing and overcoming challenges.

Intelligence can grow with effort

You’re so smart,” gushes Heather’s mother upon seeing her report card. “Look at that Nathaniel. All A’s! I’m so proud of you honey. I told you she was the smartest kid in that school. Wait ’til I show that report card to Grandma.”

Heather’s mother can hardly wait to get on the phone with grandma, put the bumper sticker on her car, and get together with the girls for a “so how are the kids doing” chat. Despite her need to tell the world about her “smart” little girl, she genuinely loves her daughter and has the best of intentions. Unfortunately, her high praise may have unintended consequences.

Mother praised Heather for being so “smart”. She called her the “smartest kid in the school” and in the process told her how proud she was of her for being so smart. In other words, she was praised for her intelligence – as if she has been blessed with an extra large helping of “smartness”. Many people view intelligence as something we are dealt at birth. Some of us get better hands than others. From the looks of that report card, Heather was dealt a hand full of Aces.

Although well intentioned, mother has inadvertently made her praise conditional. If Mom is so proud of her for getting straight A’s, what will she feel about her if she comes up with something less? When her father says, “That’s my girl”, then whose girl is she when she brings home B’s? Am I being too critical? There are many other ways for Heather to know her parents genuinely love her, unconditionally; right? But the risk here is that Heather is being labeled as “special” and may feel a need to hold on to that “specialness” to retain her parents’ approval and her own self-esteem.

So what is the harm in telling a kid she is smart – when it is obvious she is? An important developmental theme has been ignored or violated. By focusing on how smart she is rather that how much effort she put forth, these parents have focused on a fixed trait as the source of her success – as if she possesses a certain amount of smarts. In other words, they are attributing the A’s to this trait or a good brain she was born with. This view holds that intelligence is a set or fixed entity – not subject to change (or growth).

The alternative developmental perspective, and the one I want you to consider, is the idea that intelligence is dynamic – it can change with effort. This view is supported by research that shows actual measurable brain growth that results from use – focused practice in particular. If we could do an autopsy (my apologies) on Itzhak Perlman, we would find his brain has significantly greater development associated with playing the violin and with the fingers on his left hand in particular. The same goes for your son’s eye-hand (aka video game) coordination; Rafael Nadal’s forehand; Gretzky’s skating; or Emeril’s cooking. This brain development is not just limited to physical activities. It also applies to reading, writing and math. Focused effort yields growth – measurable growth. In other words, it is possible to become smarter. Everyone can improve their current level of functioning with focused practice.

So where does that leave Heather? What if her mother had said,”Wow, I know how hard you worked this year.” or “You must be very proud of what you have accomplished.” If Heather had in fact worked hard, then that effort deserves mother’s praise. The goal of development is for kids to become internally disciplined or self-directed. Heather needs to know that growth is possible and it is under her control.

By labeling her as “smart” and implying that is the basis for the straight A’s was some fixed “smartness”, then what is Heather going to do when she moves on to high school where classes are more challenging and the peer competition is greater? What is she going to do when math concepts are more difficult to grasp and essays need deeper analysis? How is she going to respond to criticism, which can imply that maybe she is not so smart, yet is essential to making improvements and growing. If a child needs to hold on to the fixed label, then she may avoid challenges and potential failures. But that is a formula for stagnation. With a growth mindset, control is internal. She knows that her effort, focused practice which involves correcting errors and getting it right before moving on, is the source of growth and getting smarter.

In an ideal setting, the report card would represent mastery of specific skills in each of those subject areas. We could look at that card and know that at Jefferson Middle School an A in math means that she has mastered factoring, solving for two unknowns, setting up proportions, …; an A in PE means that she challenged herself daily with at least 20 min of aerobic exercise in her target heart rate zone; an A in English means that she can write an editorial that presents a logical argument, with three main points, that are clearly introduced, substantiated with evidence, and clearly summarized in the end; and so on …

The work of Carol Dweck and her students has demonstrated that by focusing on labels of intelligence (as if it is a fixed quality) in the long run can undermine a child’s motivation and school performance. In contrast, praise for effort provides useful support for the essential means to growth (or getting “smarter”). See:

Mueller, Claudia M. and Dweck, Carol S., Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children’s Motivation and Performance, Personality and Social Psychology, 1998, Vol. 75, No. 1, 33-52, 0022-3514/98/S3.00

Don’t Eat The Marshmallow!

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Delay of gratification, willpower, impulse control, self-control, or internal discipline are terms that describe an ability to wait to be rewarded. Although some children are temperamentally less impulsive, the ability to self-soothe, distract, or reason about an urge to act can be learned and improved. The ability to delay gratification (develop internal discipline) is an important ingredient for gaining competence in all areas of a child’s life (socially, emotionally and intellectually).

An Ability to Delay Gratification Predicts Success in Life

 Are you familiar with the classic delay of gratification studies conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford in the late 1960′s and early 1970′s? The what? Have you seen the YouTube video of four-year-olds trying to resist eating the marshmallow in front of them? If I had asked you, have you ever heard of the MarshmallowTest, you would have known exactly what I was talking about. Give it up for YouTube, where gratification need never be delayed. I still have not jogged your memory? Then go to YouTube right now for a reenactment of the classic study, where four-year-old children are left alone in a room with a marshmallow (or a cookie, or candy) with the promise of a second marshmallow if they do not eat this one before the experimenter returns (in 15 minutes). Only thirty percent of the children were able to wait. Not surprising, is it?

Mischel discovered that by the end of high school, the kids who were able to wait seemed better adjusted psychologically and were higher achievers, with significantly higher SAT scores (>200 pts higher) and better grades. Those who could not wait more than thirty seconds had trouble paying attention in school, coping with stress, and maintaining friendships. More recently, Angela Lee Duckworth at the University of Pennsylvania offered eighth graders one dollar now or two if they could wait a week. Those who could wait fared much better academically. In fact, this measure of self-control was a better predictor of academic achievement than IQ.

As you might guess, these kids who can delay gratification grow up to be the ones who invest for retirement, wait for the best pitch to hit, and don’t say, “yes” to the first bad idea. They are able to wait to play their video games until after the homework is done.

So, are these delayers born with something special? Are their brains wired differently from birth? Are some kids just naturally more impulsive while others are more cautious and deliberate? You can be sure that the fMRI machines are cranking away in search of these answers. We can also be certain that a search for a genetic linkage will also be part of the next wave of research.

So what does that mean for us sticky fingered failures? Are we doomed to a second-class future, swinging at everything we are thrown, eating everything we see? Interestingly, Mischel found that he could provide children with techniques for resisting temptation. He said kids who continue to focus on the “hot stimulus” were doomed. But the ones who could distract themselves, were able to resist. Providing kids with techniques for taking their thoughts elsewhere, or transforming the meaning of the situation could be very helpful. In other words, self-control can be taught. Mischel also pointed out that a group of the kids who “failed to wait” grew up to be quite skilled in self-control as adults. Somehow, they found ways to teach themselves the self-regulation that came more naturally to the “delayers”.

Children are temperamentally inclined in one direction or another. At one extreme are the kids who are impulsive and labeled as Attention Deficit, Hyperactive. At the other extreme are the kids who come to be labeled as Obsessive Compulsive. Most kids are somewhere in between. Even though biology or temperament inclines a child in one direction or another, that does not mean they cannot grow in terms of self-control (or spontaneity).

Environments can be structured to help with focus and attention. Children can be taught techniques for self-control and self-soothing. Mischel explained that children can be taught habits of self-control in the family through rituals that force kids to wait on a daily basis, showing them that they can develop that self-control, and having them learn the benefits for that delay. Examples of that are limits such as no television or video games until homework is done, no snacks before dinner, save money for a desired purchase and wait until your birthday for a wished for gift. When children must work within limits (a clothing allowance for instance) they learn the benefits of self-control and the hazards of impulsivity.

The Magic Formula

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Children are motivated when they genuinely want a goal and believe they can accomplish it. That is quite different than a goal we want for them or we think they can or should attain. Getting it right, in terms of the Magic Formula: INVESTMENT = (I WANT) x (I CAN), is essential to motivation at school or at home.

 

The Magic Formula: The Essentials of Motivation

 

January of my senior year of college, four of us headed for Florida “to work on our tennis games.” As part of that on court development, we ventured into a Jai Alai arena in Miami one evening. Unfamiliar with the sport and ignorant of its subtleties, I quickly became bored and prepared to leave. But soon after placing a two-dollar bet, my face was plastered against the protective viewing glass screaming, “Go Cuatro!” Anyone can see that after placing my bet, “I had skin in the game.” I went from passive and bored to an amped up fanatic. I share the experience because the difference in feeling was so dramatic, so visceral and so immediate. (It’s a little like filling out your NCAA basketball bracket in March and putting your $5 into the office pool.)

Red-faced and exhausted, you look across the kitchen table at your son and throw up your hands – unwilling to “go to the mat” with him one more time about finishing his homework. Now think, when it comes to finishing homework, “Who has the skin in the game?” As a parent, you are in a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” position. You know for a fact that there is a world of difference in the outcomes of kids whose parents care and those who don’t. But at what price? You are their parent, not their friend. But you shouldn’t have to be the enemy in the process. Some days it feels like that, and you can see why many parents just let things slide. Parents do their own form of coasting. The child says, “I got it done at school” and accepting that excuse saves another evening of battling. Structure, limits and high expectations are essential. But motivation to do homework or work around the house should not just come from outside the child. There is a limit to how well that will work, and the older the child gets, the less well external sources of motivation work.

The secret to work at school, work at home, or work on the ball field is investment. If the child is not invested in the process, there are serious limits to what they can accomplish and how much they can be motivated. But, there is a magic formula for investment. Some might say, “Secret Formula” given the common absence of its application. It is simply:

(I want) x (I can) = Investment

If I have some skin in the game, if I truly want something, I am motivated to go after it. Equally as important is the belief that I can accomplish what I am after. When I want something and believe I am capable of achieving it, I’m invested. As a parent, a teacher, or a coach, we need to be on the correct side of this equation. If the child perceives the formula to read:

(You want) x (I can) = investment

the investment depends more on not wanting to disappoint the parent, coach or teacher and less on something internal for the child. Like I said, the older the child, the less this second formula works. Adults who rely on the second formula usually have a rude awakening when the investment evaporates with adolescence.

Before you focus on what they should do, you need to focus on what goal they truly seek – what will make them “want” to do what it takes to get to that goal.

So, before you get ready to do battle again, figure out how you help your child get some “skin in the game” and (want). Here’s a hint. Consider what the goal is and who is choosing it. If you have chosen it, then you have a lot of convincing to do to make the child want it as well. Here’s another hint: Start by listening (and being curious). If you start by joining them in their world, you have a good start at gradually pulling them into your world. Some kids accept the “because I said so” rationale. But if we are hoping for kids who think for themselves, our goals can quickly conflict on this course. It takes more work to find a course that includes a genuine (I want) on the part of the child, but the “because I said so” almost universally crashes and burns. And if it doesn’t, you have a whole set of different problems involving submission, accommodation, dependence, resentment, and depression waiting at the end of that developmental hallway. Or is that what we call, “normal adolescence”?

The Goldilocks Principle

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Working within a Zone of Proximal Development promotes growth. ZPD is defined by the zone (tasks or expectations) just beyond what a child can do independently, yet short of what would be overwhelming, even with help. With the help of instruction and/or support (scaffolding) a child can take on new challenges. That scaffolding is gradually withdrawn as the skill is mastered, and the zone is adjusted upwards.

 

The Goldilocks Principle

ZPD – Where we learn best

Remember the story of Goldilocks? Of course. Do you remember Vygotsky and the Zone of Proximal Development? Maybe not? Let’s finally put Goldilocks to some good use. Of all people, “Why Goldilocks?” you ask? I’m finding value in that totally self-absorbed, overly entitled, seriously unsupervised little brat? Hear me out. We may get some actual work out of Goldi yet. By linking ZPD and Goldilocks, perhaps the former will be easier to access and the latter will be easier to tolerate.

As you recall, after breaking and entering, Goldilocks began her comfort seeking. “Not too hard, not too soft, just right.” … “Not too hot, not too cold, just right.” You remember the basic theme. Actually that theme is an important one to remember. In fact, let’s call it a principle. The Goldilocks’ Principle: Not too ____, Not too _____, Just right? That’s much easier than calling it the Zone of Proximal Development, which is an essential part of any toolkit for parents, teachers, and coaches.

In its simplest form, ZPD means that children learn best when the work is not too hard, nor too easy, but just right. Vygotsky actually made it a little more sophisticated than a mere paraphrasing of Goldilocks. He said that the Zone of Proximal Development is defined at the lower limit by what children are capable of doing independently, with no help. The upper limit is bounded by what children are not yet capable of doing, even with the help of an adult. Bored vs. Overwhelmed for those of you who want to keep it as simple as it should be. Within the ZPD, children are capable of more challenging work if they have the assistance of an adult. In other words, they are challenged, but they have the necessary support to take it on. Operating within the ZPD means that as they begin to master the work, the amount of necessary support is reduced and the ZPD is adjusted upwards.

 

Goldilocks Principle (GP) = Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD)
Goldilocks Principle (GP) Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD) What My Mother Calls “Common Sense”
“Too Hot” Cannot do, even with help Overwhelmed
“Just Right” Zone of Proximal Development Challenged    (w/ support)
“Too Cold” Can do independently Bored

The support that allows the child to take on the more challenging work is often called scaffolding, as in the structure used to support workmen while constructing a building. In this case, the scaffolding (in the form of demonstrations, corrective feedback, support or encouragement) is withdrawn as the child attains mastery of the skill and no longer needs the support. Children need high expectations, but they also need the structure and support to make those expectations attainable.

Another good way to remember the workings of ZPD and scaffolding is to visualize a child learning to rock climb. With the aid of a harness, belaying rope and coach, the child can take on the challenge of climbing, trust that he will be safe when he falls, learn from his mistakes, and constantly improve. Without the belaying, most kids stay close to the ground, while the others put the orthopedist’s children through college.

(in terms of BIG IDEAS in Child Development, they don’t get any bigger than Vygotsky’s ZPD)